Really??!! I remember being a lovely teenager and very friendly to my mum - as long as she did what she was told!! We discussed this week, how to encourage problem solving and how to deal with behaviors we don't like. How to be in control of a discussion and being clear and calm with our instructions.
One of the things I got out of the session was to acknowledge my teenagers emotions. He got worked up this week about damage to a book the other 2 had done, but it wasn't the book really that he was peeved about. He was anxious about something else and this book became a focus of his anger.
I asked him if he wanted to discuss it, which we did, he told me what was up, I paraphrased it back and then I acknowledged the emotions he was feeling. That was the best bit, cos he actually gave himself permission to feel brassed off, I only named the emotion, after he came down from of the ceiling and had the obligatory swill of the face with a cold flannel, I left him at the end of it knowing I'm here if he needs to talk again.
What was so different? Well in the past - after I'd vocaly beaten it out of him - I'd've fixed his problems without including him in the problem solving process then congratulated myself on how well I handled it only to feel perplexed as to why it kicked off again a short while later!!
I'm off to think of some house rules - Next session is dealing with risky behaviour!!