Skinny Blog

Just been caught short whilst in our local shop. I was feeling hungry and emotional and bought 12 corner yogurts but was wondering how I could eat them in the car with no spoon and successfully hide the evidence! Yes I still sneak eat....

This was my second visit to a shop this morning - the 1st being to buy salad, ham, carrots etc you know, food that contains less calories, packs in the goodness but can still be eaten with a large side order of chocolate, sorry more salad!!  So, with this in mind, I picked up 2 "My baby was eaten by an alien who then went on to marry my mother who is actually my boyfriends father - and yes I have no legs" type magazines and sat in the car outside the shop for half an hour eating carrots, wrapping spinach up in ham and slavering tomato juice down my chin.

If you are a woman of a certain age,that means your mother is too, so you may well know what a "roll on roll of pantygirdle" is! That's what my mother used to call her 24 hour portable torture device!  Well having watched Aunty Gok I decided I would go and buy one, some support/control knickers and a pair of black leggins.

Once home I dashed upstairs and eagerly ripped the size 14/16 label off the knickers and forced myself into them.  They felt OK but the blood supply to my legs was being compromised.  When I rolled them off (hence the roll on roll off) I noticed they where a size 10/12!  Huh??

The leggins where made for a stick with sticks for legs and no bum, I got them on, well over my knees, but with the best will in the world, there was no way I could get the bum bit to stretch from my knees to my back and wearing them with a low flying gusset is not a risk I'm willing to take.  I expected them to ping off at any moment and there was no way I could sit down in them!

I looked like a very poorly Max Wall.

Then I attempted the roll on roll off which surprisingly fitted fine.  However, either I have a very short torso or you're supposed to wear it pulled up to your chin!  It's meant to give you a nice hourglass shape, I ended up with a Nora Batty waist and the bit it was supposed to be controlling was, let me tell you, no more controlled than if it was snug inside normal belly warmers!!

You thought about ducks didn't you?! 

Apparently we all have intrusive thoughts, they just pop into our heads, which is a revelation to me! I thought I was going mad but that's only when you believe them!!! Here are some common ones from a study by Purdon & Clarke (1993) - by the way - I'm not trivializing other peoples problems or obsessions, however, I found this interesting and a bit of an eureka moment. 

When I realised visualizing choking one of your children with their dirty socks after repeatedly asking them to put them away (!) was normal I felt great relief, as I did when I now know I'm not the only one who has an overwhelming urge to jump of high place (39% women/46% men) or removing all dust from the floor (35%W/40%M)

Running a car off the road (64%W/56%M)  Accidently leaving the oven/fire on (79%W/66%M)  Leaving home unlocked (77%W/69%M)  Insulting strangers (15%W/59%M)  Swerving into traffic (55%W/52%M)

Ow!  Ran up a steep bank then had a panic attack on how to get back down!  So I did the only thing a good runner could do - carried on to the top instead, will do long descents next week - argh.  We ran 2 miles in total, me the boys and BB, was like something out of a Benny Hill episode were they play the music real fast and everyone runs after one person. 

BB kept disappearing with DS1 following then another child would appear form a different direction while I was busy negotiating leaf mould (which moves unnecessarily under your feet to encourage you to descend on your ass - harrumph) and tree roots which you can't see in your sunglasses. Believe me, I know!!

Now there's a race I'd recommend to all - fairly flat - NO GRASS and a great atmosphere. Big Bro did it in 22 mins, I came in at 31. Going to start work on my distance/stamina now seeing as 31 mins for a 5K seems to be my time!!  Might include a jog to the fridge and add an extra 3 steps on the end of my usual run....

Big Heart 5K Me and Big Bro

I was watching "How to look good naked" after being told about it by my mate, I've never really watched it before so have about 5 episodes recorded to watch back to back.  She recons I should go on it but I think they'll have to change the name to "how to look good knackered!"

Anyway, I got to thinking how to justify applying for the show, I still have a larger lady body image but I'm not obsessed or depressed by what I've got, I just don't know how to dress it.  The only thing I'm not greatly fussed on are my stretchmarks from having 3 big bouncing bundles of boy.  However, Aunty Gok made me giggle when he humourized them and called the Lady Lines.  How genius was that??   Beautiful bangers and lovable lady lines!!

Just dropped DS1 off at the local agricultural show. Its too early!! I've been productive though, loaded the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen from last nights pizza. I've put the washing out and put the recycling in their boxes and I'm now going to wake BB and demand my cup of tea he promised me if I did the early morning run!!

I'm feeling at a loss though as I have back ache and a hunger I could kill for!!  Back ache is due to me not sleeping and throwing myself commando style around the bed trying to get comfy.  My brain finally gave in at 2.30 ish this morning!!  The hunger is nerves as I'm doing a race tomorrow.  Its mine and my brothers way of marking 15 years of mums passing as we are both running in the 5K.  Its her day tomorrow and the race is in Liverpool, local to where we lived. 

To counter balance life, as these things do, its also my mother in laws birthday, so will be thinking of both mums as we tuck into party food later today!!